THANK YOU LONELINESS
“I have been cursed enough to feel blessed when left alone.” — Villains
Right now, my peace is wholeheartedly reliant on me being LONELY. I’d say alone, but I’m not isolated from people or animals. I talk to people everyday.
Still, I’m alone.
I thought I’d be more depressed about it, but the connections I had to all my family and friends of the past were tied to a version of the programmed me that expired. Even then, she was tired. Tired of the toxicity and tired of having to hide, shrink, censor and explain who I am.
It’s hard when your path is so different from everyone else around you. Even more so when they don’t support you unless you fit into their box.
But that’s when you gotta MOVE.
What Ms. Badu tell us to do? PACK LIGHT
Y’all I’ve moved around so much this song was a proverb.
I look back and see where I could and should have unpacked yet I live with no regrets. It’s taught me to appreciate the freedom and peace I have right now. To sit with myself and BE myself unbothered by opinions, perceptions and programming. There are some that are simply casualties in the process of letting go, and it’s painful.
That’s the side of loneliness that gets advertised: the lack of closeness with another.
Loneliness can feel like utter despair, but I’m here to tell you, friend, it can also feel like utter bliss.
Sometime branches affi fall fi get to da root of why you ain’t bearing fruit.
Guess what? Your experience with loneliness is your choice. It comes down to how well you love yourself; catch jokes with yourself; vent to yourself; create with your SELF, relax with yourself; cry with yourself; dance with yourself; celebrate with yourself; plan with yourself.
Loneliness will show you how well you like being by yourself. I just so happen to be one of the funniest, talented rassclost people I’ve met so we stay catching jokes over here. I stay making music over here. I write stories, poems, screenplays, comedy sets, in my head while I travel just for fun; solitary confinement would be scared of ME. As a bonus I now cook for myself with only myself in mind like I’m catering myself to me. It’s elite.
What I’m learning NOW in this season of loneliness, tho, is who I let in to this new world I’m building for myself. Moreso, NOT TO RUSH! Oh lawd, I’m a runner, I’m a trackstar; usually, I just wanna go FAST.
This is awesome! I love this and I really relate. I love being alone and turning my brain off, or trying too. lol. Sometimes u just gotta be into yourself to save your heart and mind.
It's hard not to feel the isolation as a negative thing but I think it makes it easier to focus on what's important. It's always nice to see others going through a similar experience.