Mom and Dad announced they were gonna have another child just before I turned 10.
My two older brothers and sister didn’t seem enthused about the idea.
I was ecstatic to have someone younger I could boss around.
Mom was equally excited; Dad’s energy felt more like my siblings.
I caught him grumbling and mumbling about it on more than one occasion.
I kinda understood cuz he had been planning on moving us out into the country to live the farm life he’d always wanted.
Mother insisted we stayed in the city a few more years till the youngest wasn’t gonna be so dependent on her.
In a roundabout way, Dad got his way sooner than later.
Mom was having a lot of weird complications during the pregnancy so her mom came to live with us to help out.
Nan wasn’t the warm and fuzzy grandma type.
When she entered a room, she’d hand you the slippers to help you walk on the eggshells she scattered in front of you.
My father didn’t mind her staying this time cuz Nan helped him convince Mom to move to the country estate while she was still pregnant.
Nan bought a piece of the land near us to have her own barn and home.
I was convinced she was a witch.
I’m a city girl so I was devastated at the whirlwind upheaval.
Within 3 months, we were uprooted and replanted in what seemed to be the middle of nowhere.
Dad told me we had to move quickly before the winter kicked in.
“But, Daaaaaad! It’s September! Where am I gonna go to school???” I sobbed.
Turns out, Nan was going to homeschool me for the first year till the baby was situated; that way I could also help Mom.
I stopped being excited all together.
Everything about the house, the barn, the roads, the forests, seemed eery and strange.
Haunted.
Mom felt it too, and insisted she still go to the city to give birth.
Dad and Nan begrudgingly conceded.
A month after we moved, the baby insisted it was time to come out.
Mom and Dad were only supposed to be gone for 3 or 4 days.
They were gone for weeks.
I could hear Nan having frantically hushed conversations on the landline at all hours of the day and night.
We weren’t allowed to speak to Mom, and Dad only spoke with each of us kids once before they came back.
It was the second day after they had left and we collectively agreed to bully Nan until she made one of parents talk to us and tell us what was happening.
“Everything is ok. Your mother and the baby had a little trouble but the doctors are working on fixing it.” He sounded further away than cities. He was on another planet.
“What did Mom have? I bet it was a GIRL! I can FEEL it! Can you send a picture of my little sister? I wanna see her! Can you send a picture of Mom? Why can’t I talk to Mom? I need to ask her something. Can you just put her on the phone? I wanna…” I was worried and excited and speaking a mile a minute till Dad cut me off angrily.
“Your mother isn’t well! You can speak to her when she comes home. Now go do your chores and listen to Nan!” He barked.
I could tell he was frightened by his tone; my own fears froze the tears welling in my eyes.
I ran from the house and grabbed my bike to pedal out into the trails to the forest.
I didn’t want my brothers and sister to hear me wail like a broken banshee.
They already mocked me enough.
The only thing I liked about living out in the country was riding my bike. I didn’t know where everything was yet, but there was a safety in the exploration I never felt in the city.
Nan whooped me hard for leaving without permission when I got back but I didn’t really feel it.
Everything went numb for those few weeks I waited for them to come back with the baby.
My sister guessed it was probably a stillborn.
My brothers joked that Dad found out it wasn’t his.
When the car drove up, a tingle of excitement returned to my body.
Finally I’d get to meet my little sister!
Finally I’d get to see Mom and heal her with my kisses and love.
Dad got out first. He didn’t look at any of us waiting for them on the porch.
He moved like a zombie to open Mom’s door.
Mom came out dressed in a long loose white dress; her once brown hair looked jet black against her paled skin.
Her eyes met mine momentarily as a passive greeting.
She made a beeline to the barn.
Dad went to the trunk and drug out a massive wooden box with two small holes on either end.
Nan ran out to help him carry the box to the barn.
I thought I heard muffled screams.
Nobody else seemed to hear it.
Nan yelled from the barn to have the boys grab chairs and tables from the barn to bring into the house for company coming.
Lots of Moms friends soon started to arrive.
Dad came back in the house saying we’d be having a coming home party.
He still wouldn’t talk about the baby.
We were forbidden from mentioning it or we’d be severely beaten.
Joseph, the eldest, tried to ask as we set up and my Dad beat him from an inch of his life.
I told my sister I was going to sneak into the barn to find out what was in the wooden box as soon as the party really got going.
Dad brought Mom into the house once all her friends had arrived.
They began to cluck and cackle her out of her silent shock.
I could see the warmth return to her demeanour.
I stared at her jealous that I couldn’t do that for her.
She felt my gaze and met my eyes for a few moments;
Long enough to see the joy fade when she looked my way.
Long enough to see a sadness and a cry for help that her eyes wouldn’t let escape.
I was more determined than ever to find out what was in that box.
While the party raged on, I noticed Nan slip out to the barn with Dad.
He was dragging his feet in following her while Nan hissed orders to hurry.
I decided to follow them.
“Where do you think you’re going, Missy?” Mom laughed.
I was so parched for her presence, I got distracted.
Finally it was just the two of us in the kitchen alone.
I ran into her body and wrapped myself tightly around her.
She gave me a little squeeze. Her body felt cold.
“Mummy, are you ok? I missed you so much! What happened? Where’s the baby?” I blurted it all out in one breath.
She lifted my chin to look in her eyes.
She wasn’t in there; something wild and foreign had replaced the woman I knew.
“Can you keep a secret?” she whispered excitedly.
I saw a flash of familiarity on her face that eased me into comfort again.
We always shared special secrets.
“Never never will I tell or I be cast into a spell.” I recited our pact eagerly.
Her smile was bright but her eyes went dark.
“Your little sister is still alive…..for now.”
I snapped out of my shock with the sound of the car pulling out of the driveway.
We both faced the window to watch it peel off into the dark.
The moon was pregnant; the sky began birthing the first snowfall of the season.
My intuition told me I had to follow that car.
Mom pulled me back from opening the door to leave.
"You and your sister better get to cleaning all this up. The grownups are going out to have a special ceremony. Have your brothers help you bring the extra chairs back to the barn.” Mom’s voice lost all warmth.
She sounded like Nan.
“I wanna come!” I begged, throwing myself at the hem of her dress.
She kicked me aside like a pesky pebble and went back into the party to collect her friends.
I watched them all pile into their cars and head in the direction of Nan’s property.
Nan had forbidden us from visiting her place but I’d been allowed to drive with her there once when she’d been desperate to get something she’d forgotten.
I closed my eyes trying to remember the path.
“Don’t even think of leaving me here to clean up by myself,” my sister hissed in my ear from behind.
My soul hopscotched up out of my body for a few seconds before it landed limply back inside.
“Don’t sneak up on me like that!” I cried.
“We gotta clean this up before they come back. I’m not tryna deal with Nan’s wrath tonight.”
I investigated every inch of my brain for a persuasive excuse to get my sister to let me go.
I wanted to tell her what Mom said.
I wanted to tell her about my fears for what they might do to our sister.
I wanted to ask her to join me in this maniacal mission but I was too afraid she would sabotage.
Even worse, I felt the weight of the pact.
So I lied.
“You’re right. I’m stronger than all y’all so I’ll move the chairs and tables to the barn so you can start cleaning this room. When I get back, I’ll do the dishes and clean the kitchen. Deal?”
My sister hated doing dishes. It wasn’t a hard sell.
I quickly stacked the wooden chairs and ran upstairs to find my oldest brother.
“Hey, Mom said you need to help put the chairs and tables in the barn while we clean the house. I stacked them for you already so I’m gonna start on the dishes.”
He rolled his eyes and turned over in his bed with his book.
“I’ll give you $10 to do it right now,” I tried not to sound desperate.
He slowly turned back to face me with narrowed eyes.
“Make it $20.” He smirked.
“I’ll give you $30 if you do the dishes too.” I crossed my arms, trying to hold my nerves together.
He lost the smile and sat up in the bed. “What’s going on?”
“Fine, $50 and that’s my final offer!”
He stood up and stared down into my eyes. “What’s going on?”
“Forget it, I’ll ask Jacob instead. He’s faster anyway,” I played on his rivalry with our brother.
“Alright alright, DEAL.” He shook my hand and pushed past me.
I sprinted into my room, grabbed my coat and flew down the stairs into the kitchen.
I grabbed a couple flashlights and some zip ties from the drawer and crept out the side door.
I found my bike already covered in snow.
I zip tied both flashlights to the handlebars but kept them turned off.
I peddled out of sight from our house like an Olympic cyclist.
There was a nauseating urgency gnawing at the pit of my stomach.
Once I was on the main road, I turned on the flashlights.
The mediocre streams of light barely made a nick in the blanket of darkness surrounding me.
I realized this was the first time I’d been out in the country in the night.
I had no clue where I was going. I kept cycling along the same trails, distracted by menacing noises and deafening silence.
I stopped to catch my breath when I arrived at the same intersection I’d passed three times before.
I took one of the flashlights off the handlebars and shone it on the ground.
I saw multiple tire tracks that were quickly filling up with snow.
Of course! I should have been looking down, not ahead!
I hopped back on my bike and followed the path of the tire tracks.
They veered off into a narrow path mostly covered with trees and eternal darkness.
I would have never seen it.
Nan was living in a different dimension.
I decided to park my bike at the beginning of the path to walk the rest of the way in.
I could see a few porch lights from far so I retired the flashlight to avoid being seen.
The outlines of the cars began to take shape as I got closer.
I began trembling with excitement and possibly pneumonia.
Nan’s barn was lit up from within by a strange blueish light. The windows were tall and wide.
I tiptoed closer along the forest line of her acreage.
That’s when I heard the strangest sounds.
I closed my eyes to listen better.
I could hear singing, crying, and…..water?
Nan had a long ladder propped up on the side of the barn that had no windows.
I used my herculean strength to hoist it around to the other side of the barn.
My gloveless hands were so numb, I lost control of the grip and set the ladder against the wall with a THUD.
Immediately the singing and crying stopped from inside.
The rushing water was the only sound that slithered through the night.
I ran for cover behind a tree.
Nan and Dad burst out from the door to scan the source of the commotion.
My lungs felt like they were going to burst from holding my breath.
Dad’s eyes scanned the forest and landed directly at the tree where I was hiding.
He took one step towards my direction.
“It was probably just that clumsy brown bear again. Get back inside. It’s time,” Nan pulled on Dad’s coat.
He stumbled backwards into the door still looking in my direction.
As soon as the door closed, I ran back to the ladder.
There was no time to waste!
I climbed up 15 feet of ladder to reach the window.
I couldn’t believe what I saw.
A massive glass aquarium.
A giant tube feeding it water.
Eerie blueish white lights filling the room from the bottom of its tank.
Mom and all her friends holding hands around its perimeter.
Dad on a 4 foot ladder holding onto the wooden box I’d seen him pull out earlier from the trunk when they arrived.
They all continued to sing and chant songs I never heard.
Nan was clearly leading the ceremony.
Where was my sister?
Nan cranked on a wheel on the wall; the water immediately stopped.
Everyone went quiet.
That’s when I heard the wailing again.
Dad opened the box and the noise got even louder.
Mom covered her ears, but Nan forced her hands back to her sides.
He pulled out a grotesquely disfigured baby girl.
Her veins looked like they lived outside of her skin.
Her eyes were bulging out of the sockets.
She had long brown fur on her calfs.
A full set of jagged teeth lined her sobbing contorted mouth.
She had little to no nose; just two holes to breathe.
Dad held her up and away from him.
He looked up directly at me through the window.
Nan poked him with a stick: “RELEASE AND LET HER SLEEP IN HEAVENLY PEACE!”
Everyone echoed in reply: “RELEASE AND LET HER SLEEP IN HEAVENLY PEACE.”
He threw her into the water.
Everyone reached one hand in to hold my sister down.
They kept repeating the chant.
I began to sob so hard I lost my footing on the ladder.
I fell to the ground and the world lost all sound.
The next time I woke, I was in my bed.
Mom was by my side.
“What happened to my little sister?” I could barely whisper.
Mom hushed me and patted my head.
“It was just a dream, baby girl. You don’t have a baby sister.”
“But Mom! I saw…” I tried to sit up and plead with her.
The same darkness of that night flashed across her beautiful face as she pushed me back down to lay in the bed.
“Can I tell you a secret?” She taunted.
““Never never will I tell or I be cast into a spell,” I whispered fearfully.
“Your little sister is still alive…..for now.”
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You gave me goosebumps.