DAY 39 DETOX POEM: GOOD GRIEF!

A post funeral poetic rant

A terrible tragedy in my family occurred recently.

My cousin was killed in the street by two cars that ran her over without stopping:

She was suffering mental health issues and was trying to ask for help.

I suppose you could say she got it in a different way than how she had intended.

So, on the second last day of my 40 day food detox, I attended the funeral of yet another family member abruptly taken from our lives.

And I was, of course, the Funeral Singer who sang It Is Well to usher us along in this time of grieving.

I was shocked and unpleasantly surprised to see my mother there in all her narcissistic glory — of course, trying to make everything about herself.

In any case, you already know I had to come home and write something to transmute this energy, to reflect on all the things.

Before I sang my song for da people dem, I offered some words of wisdom on my experience with Grief. I wanted to encourage my family to embrace her as a collective so we could release her in a healthy way — to be able to say, “Even so, it is well with my soul.”

This is the poetic rant that poured out while I lay in bed:

Good Grief

We always wish to push it down.

Suppress

Compress

Depress

Regress.

Good grief!

Hell forbid us if we choose address it.

To scream with her into the void.

To dance with her to the ancient drum —

The beat calling us all back as one.

To laugh thru the stabbing of hilarious memories

and bleed tears of regret for not making more.

Good Grief!

Can we get more time?

Can I be allowed to scream when I cry?

To let my pain pierce the sky

like a lightning bolt slapping the face of night?

Can I not be shushed and rushed thru my pain?

Can I lay in the dirt with grief as it rains?

Pouring shame, and rage, and venomous hate,

roll around in the mud of misery—

no expectations of a smile on my face.

Good Grief!

How can I heal if I’m controlled how to feel?

Why is there an invisible timer for my emotions?

Why are people holding muzzles for my mania?

I lost a piece of my heart,

May I please lose a piece of my mind?

Good Grief!

Let me lose my breath.

Let me square up with death.

Let me battle dance and war cry,

throw ashes on my sackcloth —

I don’t wanna grieve clean.

Good Grief!

Let me sit with tragedy before I must move on.

Reminisce before their essence is gone.

Please don’t quicken my comfort,

Silence me with solace,

Decoy me with distractions.

I must feel what I must feel to heal:

Please leave me be,

Good Grief!

Nala Beans was helping me transmute the heavy energies as soon as I came back home

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