This short story was inspired by Note:
This is the story:
βI ainβt tryna spark dis till da food comes. I ainβt got no snacks.β
I snatched da baseball bat blunt from Rollie and kissed my teeth.
βNigga β you ainβt got no STACKS either. You ainβt pitched nun on dis blunt so you sure as HELL ainβt sparkin SHIT.β
Errbody laughed.
Rollie always policing blunts but he ainβt eva contributed to da harvest.
He snatched da bat back.
βYeah well I got us da Chinese food dats gonna feed yo greedy big backs sooooooβ¦β
Brian stretched his 6β7 body to kick Rollie in the back of the knees.
Rollie buckled and da blunt went flying in da air.
Brian caught it in his giant basketball grippers before it could hit da ground.
He laughed: βNigga you ainβt pay fo dat shit either. You just dicked down Mr. Wongβs daughter a few times for dem free meals.β
Rollie dusted off his jeans with a vengeance.
βShiiiiid I donβt dick DOWN β I dick UP. You hatin cuz mine works better den money and yours brings you bad luck.β
Everybody laughed.
Brian was already on his 5th baby mama at 20 years old.
I could tell Brian wanted to slap da taste out Rollieβs mouth so I grabbed da blunt to distract him.
βAy Rollie β Ling Ling ever fess up bout her Pops using cats instead of chicken?β
Me and my nigga Jay had a long standing bet about da rumours.
It never stopped us from eating da shit.
Mr. Wong knew how to cook da fuck outta whatever da fuck meat was in dem containers.
But I wanted a free monthβs supply of Jayβs best herbs if I was right.
Jay already had a laundry list of shit he wanted me to do as his personal assistant for a month if I lost.
Rollie rubbed his disconnected struggle goatee.
βFirst of all β her name is Angela β you ignant muhfuckaβ¦β
Jay guffawed as he grabbed the blunt from my tight grasp.
βNo the fuck it AINT muhfucka. Just tell us what da bitch said.β
Jay barely tolerated Rollie for my sake β and he hated dat Rollie been dragging this shit out for attention when he already told us 2 weeks ago he was gonna ask her.
Jay sparked da blunt and smiled with satisfaction at Rollieβs obvious annoyance.
βYeah she told me.β
I felt like my eyes popped outta my head.
Jay let da blunt drop from his lips.
In my peripheral I saw Brian snatch da shit clean outta da rotation but I didnβt care.
He was puffin long and hard on dat muthfucka too.
βOkβ¦soooβ¦..what da fuck she tell you?β
Everybody laughed cuz my voice cracked.
Rollie opened his mouth to answer but Brian interrupted.
βYoooo β you know what I would do if I opened up a Chinese shop?β
We all turned to Brian who was already half way to heaven on Jayβs premium OG shit.
βBredren β nobodyβs tryna hear your wack bidness ideas right now.β
Jay barely tolerated Brian for my sake β especially when Brian got high and ranted on da highest levels of rantosity bout how he could run a bidness better than anybody else.
Mans needs to focus on da bidness of his pullout game.
Brian was unfazed by Jay.
βI wouldnβt use cats. They too lean and muscular and got dirty diseases.β
Rollie snatched da blunt wit da greedy quickness.
βYeah like you. Ahaaaaaaaaaa.β
Jay was getting pissed off faster den da blunt was burning.
Brian was too high and oblivious.
βHA HAAA Nigga β yo dick is dirtier den mine you fuckin gigolo. Nawwww Iβm saying Iβd use RACCOONS for my shit.β
Brian sat there like a dummy with a big ol smile on his face.
Jay looked at me like: this yo nigga for real?
Jay sighed deep and looked back at Brian: βAight Iβll bite. Why would you use raccoons?β
Everybody groaned while Brian stood up to explain.
βSee β first Iβd actually start a Pest Control bidness. You know, to legitimize why I be snatching da muthafuckas up at any time of day or night. Den Iβd test em for diseases and use all dem fat summabitches dat were clean. Dey got way more meaty meats den some lil pussy cats. Dat way I get free meat AND Iβd get paid to clean up da over infested streets.β
I snatched da blunt from Rollie cuz I was too sober to process Brian actually making sense.
Through da smoke of my blunt toke I noticed Rollie looking real strange.
Jay noticed too.
βAy Rollie β you good? My OG shit too strong for your pussy ass?β
Rollie didnβt say nun even as da blunt passed by him back to Jay.
I was worried.
βYo my nigga β yo ROLLIE! You good? Did B stun you to another dimension or sumpen?β
BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM
The loud knocking at the front door snapped Rollie outta his weird lil disassociation spell.
He got up all robotic to open da door.
It was da Chinese food β just in time for our craving asses to eat.
Rollie put da shit down on da coffee table with a loud thump.
βNawwww β B was right bout da COONS. Thatβs what Mr. Wong uses in his food.β
-the end-
Preshate yβall for tuning in.
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